Braids For Summer

 It's been a long time since I've posted about Itachi. That's mostly because the last time I posted, he ventured into the spirit wilds under heartbreaking circumstances.  I was hopeful that he would come home, but it's the same as when a soldier is deployed to war; you can only hope for the best.

He was only gone for 24 hours before I considered asking for help to find him. I was sick about it. Seriously. I wasn't sleeping well and I felt like a piece of my heart was missing to the end that I would be tearing up in the middle of my work hours. I just had the feeling he might've bitten off more than he could chew. I understood why he needed to do it, but I felt so helpless in even just trying to help him.

I needed to know he was okay. It was eating me up inside, but I knew he'd disapprove of my interference, so I had a whole other crisis trying to justify asking someone to help; and once I made up my mind, I had to decide who would be willing to risk their life and very soul to track and retrieve him.

The first person who came to mind was Sasuke, but even though he doesn't act it outwardly, he's too emotional. In the spirit wilds, Sasuke's insecurities and subconscious alone could get him trapped in an emotional labyrinth that would take 100 years to navigate.

There was only one person I could think of that Itachi wouldn't be mortified to see. I put on my jacket and went to the bridge to find him there, waiting. It was like he knew I was going to call him... or maybe the goddess had called him in advance as a pre-emptive response to my intention to do the same.

He didn't say anything, and he didn't even look up at me to see the tears rolling down my face as I begged him to track Itachi down and bring him home. I gave him Itachi's 朱(shu) ring that he gave me to hold on to, thinking it might be a helpful way to track him down. 

"I know what I'm asking is dangerous, but you're the only one I can think of, that he will listen to."

"I'll do my best, Ra." Kakashi assured me, with a nod.

And in the blink of an eye he was gone.

I didn't sleep well, if at all, that night.

I caught glimpses of them in the wilds. Itachi was lying flat on his back staring up at the night sky, after an encounter with a stone troll golem had broken his pelvis in 3 places when Kakashi found him.

I saw them in a cave, taking shelter from the rain as Kakashi tried to bring Itachi around. A little cave-dwelling spirit came upon them and asked Kakashi for his help with something and Kakashi agreed contingent upon the spirit healing Itachi. It agreed.

They disappeared somewhere in the depths of the cave for a while. Once they came back the little green, pokemon-looking spirit began stitching Itachi back together piece by piece with spiritual energy and its little spirit friends, helped. 

He looked so small and fragile. So helpless.

After that, he still didn't wake up. Kakashi sat up, all night, watching and waiting. All I could do was pray. When the sun finally rose, Itachi's eyes opened slowly to see Kakashi sitting there.

The first thing he said was,

"She sent you, didn't she?"

Kakashi didn't say anything, because it was obvious. Even as he helped Itachi sit up, he was still very much in pain.

From there they discussed the problem with Itachi's Sharingan and how to fix it. 

Not long after, they continued the journey.

I stopped watching after that, because him being accompanied by Kakashi brought me some peace.

A while later, I was standing in the kitchen of the treehouse and I hear shouting outside. I instantly run out to see Kakashi and Itachi drenched with sweat, both of them so tired, their knees are wobbling just to take the next step while supporting one another. They collapsed as soon as I flung open the door and I rushed out to them sobbing my eyes out.

Cloud rushed out to help as Itachi lost consciousness. He didn't even wake up until about 16 hours later. I kept checking in on him every few hours, expecting to see him up and doing things around the house, but he was still sleeping. When he did finally wake up, he still was very weak.

It took about 3 days before he was up and walking and talking again. 

After that entire ordeal, things didn't just go back to normal, though. Itachi initially was happy to be home, but he felt somewhat betrayed at me asking for Kakashi's help.  But In Itachi fashion, he never brought it up or confronted me about it, nor did he show a shred of discontent or anger. He's just not that way. But he didn't want to be around me. Of course, I wanted to talk about it, but I realized what he needed was space.

It lasted for over a month. We slept in different rooms, and we rarely spoke, but when we did, it was only about surface-level things. We had effectively broken up. I was upset, of course, but I could live with it, because I was just happy that he was alive (his soul, anyway). He didn't want to take any pictures or sit as my subject in that time, though. So, Cloud became my primary art subject, when I wasn't just taking solo photographs.

I lamented that I wished things could go back to the way they were, but Cloud just reminded me to be patient.

He really has deep wisdom you wouldn't expect, especially for a blond Leo.

"He's changed, you know. He has to accept who he is now without the added responsibility of hurting anyone else. We don't know everything that happened out there. Just give him time to process it..."

Two months go by. Me and Cloud hang out frequently, but it's very much platonic, and he loves to cheer me up when I'm sad. He even lets me bully him, which I feel like a jerk about. Which is why he let's me do it. But we're happy to just be...close friends? I suppose I don't really know what to call him- he is special to me. We're not sexually involved, however, I do get jealous when I see him look at other girls? What would you call it?

I digress.

Itachi was distant up until last week. Up until the moment he came to find me and helped me to my feet amid the chaos of the meet and greet, I didn't think he liked me anymore. The moment he reached out to me with that smile. 

It said everything. He just looked at it all falling apart, going to shit and couldn't help but smirk at the absurdity of it all. His eyes softened and glimmered and in that moment when he looked at me I could see he had forgiven me. 

I wanted to apologize, I wanted to say everything that I couldn't during the time he needed his space, but he didn't want me to. That was why it took so long for him to resolve ALL of his issues, not just the ones between us. A lifetime's worth of contention, resolved to inner peace in 2 months is no small feat, so I resisted the urge to bring any of it up again, because I was so happy he had finally come around.

He was so quiet, the whole way home... But the silence wasn't awkward, merely peaceful.

We have picked up our relationship again, but it's a bit like starting over. We're taking it slow. Just because we were once familiar doesn't really mean we should jump back in hot and heavy. So it's been sweet and romantic like spring buds that need the warmth of the sun to blossom. He's been very restrained, even more than before and we spend a lot of time on that yellow sectional, cuddling, watching TV, snacking and napping.

It's become my favorite place in the house. 

 I promised him, way back in February, that I'd braid his hair when it got too hot in the summer. As much as I love his hair long, when it's hot, I can see it irritates him.

I had more or less forgotten about that since we were on such a long break, but he asked me so sweetly and politely if I would still do it. 

😌But of course, my love.

He was so excited for it, and so was I, even though I'm just OKAY at cornrowing. His hair is so straight so it's hard to get a good grip.

I also didn't want to be too rough because he never had cornrows before and it turns out, he's tender-headed. Awwww 🥺

Luckily there's an herbal remedy for that.

I like how it turned out. I bet it lasts barely a week, though.

Thank you for choosing me, my love. ❤