Save The Date

Wedding planning is a tremendous and horrible responsibility. Yet, somehow I volunteered to take on this monumentous task. I am mostly concerned about the guest list, even though it's set to be a small event. So far only Pocahontas' friends are accounted for.

I think Keigo wants to keep it small and personal, but he has spared no expense. I don't even think he has invited anyone yet- not even Endeavor 😒 which I'm giving the side-eye because, why not?

I thought this was gonna be a quick cute lil intro to Patreon and it's turning into a headache, because the first obstacle was Moca's wedding dress.

I wanted to go for a more traditional style, but, early on she made it clear that she did not want a big fluffy, frou-frou princess dress. She wanted something sleek, form-fitting and modern. Before we ended up going with the the shimmering turquoise bohemian look, we did try a traditional white lace, trumpet dress. She looked, positively, like dazzling Disney-approved royalty; albeit uncomfortable.

I had her dripping in diamonds and she didn't complain, but I could tell it didn't excite her.  The collar was too high and too many body parts were covered. 

In the end, when this dress came up, in theory, I knew it would be risque. I tried to guide her away from such an open pattern, but she insisted that the flowing drapery suit her as a self-proclaimed savage and a child of wild; and she was satisfied with the final look. I almost re-styled her a third time, but in the end, I let her decision stand, and I'm happy to say she looks beautiful.

Ever since Keigo proposed a few days ago (amidst the throes of passion, as you can imagine) they've been really incorrigible. These two give me real headaches sometimes. 

Even though I managed to erase quite a bit of the white liver's influence from Moca, they still manage to fuck like the sky is falling every. single. time.

Moca finally came out and told Keigo about Itachi, because inviting him to the wedding came up. 

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"No."

Naturally, Keigo was pissed. 

He legit put a stop to this whole planning process, like he was seriously considering not going through with it. They started arguing. 

"I'm so sorry, Keigo! It happened right before I met you, I should have told you, I know..."

"To think- we shared food- We saved people together! He's probably been sitting back laughing and gloating this entire time, just waiting for a chance to throw it in my face!"

"Keigo,  I'm sorry I should've told you sooner, but I was afraid that it would change the way you feel about me!"

"You're damn right, you should have told me! What if I'd heard it from someone else?!"

"You have every right to be angry, babe, but it happened before us-"

"Did he make you come?!" 

The immaturity fueling the question instantly hushed the room, and somehow the silence seemed to reverberate as it was almost whispered when he asked, burning his cheeks and ears red hot.

"...Keigo..."

"How many times?"

"Do you really want to talk about this?"
she asked, looking all twisted up about it.

"I need to know if he's better than me. So count."

"....maybe...16 times...or so?" 

 Keigo doesn't handle this kind of shit well.

"16 times!?!?"

"Total! No more than 4 at one time..."
she looked away, embarrassed.

"Do you love him?!"

"No! It wasn't serious at all!"

"How long were you with him?"

"-Only for like 2 days, I swear!"

The entire time he's giving her the third degree in the background, I'm steady taking photos of the venues for the wedding ceremony and reception, lowkey thinking 

"Ya'll motherfuckers better not waste my time."

The argument goes on, and it's about as trivial as you can imagine. Think about that scene from "Closer" where Julia Roberts and Clive Owen have it out about her infidelity. He angrily makes her answer all his filthy questions about what they did. It's completely miserable to watch.

It actually wasn't this bad in terms of the fallout. But Keigo was definitely ripping his heart out all over the floor in this fashion. 

He's better now, but he hasn't grown up overnight, come on.  

In the end I heard them in the background doing emotional acrobatics when suddenly I look througt the pictures I've taken for the upcoming wedding and slowly their words begin to trail off into awe-pressured silence as they begin to see the beauty of the wedding coming together.

Suddenly, Keigo just says "Fuck it, I forgive you." like he has completely just lost his patience with fighting instead of fucking.

 Literally a 180 in attitude as they become excited about actually getting married again and he starts kissing her desperately heading downtown like a fucking maniacal submarine.

I said "Stop it! Don't reward her with sex! She did something bad!! You guys have real issues. Sex can't always be a band-aid!" then I pushed him backward.

 He was stubborn, though, so, then I (clothed) materialized straddling Pocahontas (naked) and facing away from her like reverse cowgirl and I pushed him off. They both looked a little violated.

"If you keep bringing me here to watch, you shouldn't be surprised that I can stop you. Sex is not a fix to every relationship problem, guys."

Keigo looked kinda miffed that I was closing up his candy shop. But Moca did agree that they should be more serious about their marriage.

Eventually I got up. He didn't stay away long, though.

After a few (or several) turns on the Merry-Keigo-Round. There is an interjection from a 3rd party. I was high-key conversing in Chinese with martial god (not marital) Xie Lian from Heaven Official's Blessing- which is a BL, yeah, but goes pretty hard on the etiquette, culture and even corruption of Shangri-La court and officials.

I've only been there once, so I'm interested in him teaching me.

He offered, through me, that if Moca and Toast could refrain from sex until the wedding, he would officially bless them with Heaven's seal. I was like "Wow!" you'd really do that? I took him for serious and I told them the good news immediately. I was actually really honored that he approved of my matchmaking to such high praise for all of 30 seconds when I hear whispering, muffled moaning and kissing.

😅😂😂

Xie Lian laughed, amused, when I shouted, slamming my fist into the door,

"Are you guys FUCKING?!"

"No!"

Keigo lied unconvincingly.

"Well, what a shame! That's a deal breaker, I'm afraid. So,  the only alternative is that you really need to make those raw honeymoon shots over the top." he said it with a really innocent smile, but... 

I was mortified.

"No, no, give them one more chance! I know they can do it!" I say as they, now, could be heard very CLEARLY fucking in earnest like we're not standing right outside the goddamn door. Animals!

"My apologies." he chuckled lightly "I actually meant what I said before- but I was being a bit facetious. Sometimes just observing the illusion of free will is reason enough to make fun..." he trailed off, snickering.

He genuinely thought that shit was funny. He said he knew they wouldn't make it, and it was really his way of kindly delivering the news that I cannot hold back in how explicit the NSFW shots are going to be when I get around to the honeymoon. I suppose it just wouldn't do them justice.

Thanks a lot, Your Highness Sifu. 😒

Anyway, the wedding is on! Here's the Save the Date.

Mazel Tov to the happy couple.

P.S. I got the idea to tame Keigo's unruly windswept mane with a headband instead of trying to cut or gel it to the point of making him look unfamiliar, for 2 reasons:

1. He'd have a fit, because as minimally as he messes with his hair, he actually is quite proud of his perfectly untamed, windswept mane. 
   
   
2. When I came up with the idea, I thought it made him look like Coach Ukai from Haikyuu, which I was happy about. They do look like they could be related, after all. 

Keishin (Ukai) was happy to oblige too. He seemed to show up momentarily just to lend Keigo a headband along with good luck wishes.

"Congratulations, buddy. She's a lucky girl."

"Nah. I'm the lucky one."

These two are cousins!

I don't even care what you say.

 No?

Okay, well here's some neat food for thought: Tomie Takami, Keigo's mother, had to change her last name in the BNHA manga to protect their identity when Hawks joined the Hero Public Safety Commission. Even though it's not made clear whether the name she chose was her maiden name or one she made up, GUESS what she changed it to:

Ukai

羽飼 (The name contains the kanji for "feather" (羽 u) and "to keep" (飼 kai)

The kanji is different for Keishin's name 烏養 (meaning crow nurturer), but fuck that. Even with the connection to feathers and flying being obvious, I'm not content to simply reduce it to sheer coincidence. 😛

The kanji overhead says "Fly" like a Nike Swoosh

Who knows, maybe Coach Cousin Ukai will come to the wedding.